05 April 2011

Have you ever thought of this..?

Have you ever thought of this?

Have you ever pulled your shirt down over your knees, just because you can, and noticed this tiny hole in the fabric? The way everything is all purple and grey stripes and then in one small dot it's not? The way the color of your pants shines through, all strange and foreign, and suddenly you stretch your arms as high up as you can to pull the shirt back into place on your hips because maybe, just maybe, if you never think about the hole again it just won't be there? Because you like this shirt, because you love how you can pull it down all the way to your knees like a dress, because you've loved it ever since you laid eyes on it years ago- and suddenly you can't just wear it anymore? Does this make you sad too?

Have you ever thought of this?

Have you ever looked out in the late evening and the sky was of this really strange color? Have you ever smiled and thought it looks like blue ink swirling in milk, just because you've heard that expression somewhere sometime and now for some reason unbeknown to you it seems to fit? Even though you've never even seen ink swirling in milk before, and probably never will? Have you ever stared up at the nighty sky then, at the point where it's still really bright blue like your favourite flower, and gradually turns darker and darker until it's midnight blue on the far horizon? Have you ever stood there and almost cried because nature is just so beautiful? Have you ever decided that this color, right in the middle, is your favourite color? And have you ever tried to tell someone? I never have. I guess it doesn't make much sense to do that. Have you ever felt that, too? Like dishonouring something by talking about it? Like you're killing the magic and then it is gone, drowned in that strange look people give you?
Have you ever thought of this?

Have you ever dreamed about your favourite man and wanted him to be like Link from  the The Legend Of Zelda Games? Have you ever seen a man in green clothing and white pants in your dreams, carrying a sword, fighting for his love? Have you ever wanted your very own personal hero to be not like Leonardo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but to be Leonardo-san? Have you ever written stories about it and never told anyone because it's so embarassing? Have you ever written something like "I'm too old for this" at the beginning of a new chapter and almost cried when a 45-years-old mother of two answers that no one is ever too old for dreaming?

Have you ever thought of this?

Have you ever read a postcard with sayings on it and thought how perfectly it suits a friend, bought it and never given it to that person, because all of a sudden you were afraid they might not understand? Have you ever thought you might not survive it if someone hadn't got the same opinion about something beautiful and then kept quiet about it? Have you ever stopped regretting it?

Have you ever thought of this?
Have you ever started to argue about something with someone you totally agreed with, just for the sake of being a counterpart, just for the arguing, just for the benefit of talking? Have you ever found arguments supporting something you hate just to show someone that you are intelligent too, that you can say more than just "yes you're right", all the while mentally slapping yourself for not shutting up?

Have you ever thought of this?

Have you ever asked the person you love what love feels like? Have you ever smiled at his honest answer about someone else and secretly cried at night? Have you ever met someone, honestly wanting to hate him, and just couldn't? Have you ever said 'okay' when you saw your loved one with someone else because they are just so happy together? Have you ever wished for someone who looks at you and your partner and doesn't think 'yuck' but 'they are beautiful together' ? Have you ever wanted to be someone else? Have you ever wanted to be a better person? Have you ever wanted to be worse?

Have you ever thought of this?

Have you ever looked at your shaver and then suddenly started laughing because you remembered how you lost the same one on your last holiday with your best friend where you had so much fun? Have you ever looked at the shades of green on a bursting tree and wished you could be as colorful? Have you ever breathed in and smelled the snow coming before it fell? And have you ever tripped over your own feet on purpose, just to see the ones you love the most laugh when they look at you lying in the grass?

Have you ever thought of this?
Have you?

~Pin
Auszüge aus
meinem geheimen Tagebuch

Keine Kommentare:

Kommentar veröffentlichen